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Listen to Coffee

The Recipe of Reconciliation

It starts with the individual. In an email shared with me at one time, someone had outlined four requirements in order to achieve relationship reconciliation. I now call it the “Recipe of Reconciliation.” It is important to understand that this is not designed and not to be used as a “demand for an apology.” It is also important to understand that this is never about “digging up the past” with a “record of wrongs.” It is about working through issues that somehow cause division and ongoing dissension in the present. The fact is that without these four ingredients, true reconciliation is actually not possible - reconciliation literally can not exist without all four. But, again, this starts with us individually. 


The ingredients are simple and just like the ingredients required to make a cake, if one is missing, an actual cake can not be made. Here are the four simple ingredients. 

1. Own your own (divisive) behavior

2. Be sincerely apologetic about your (divisive) behavior

3. Make a commitment to change your (divisive) behavior

4. Take time to actively rebuild trust in the (divided) relationship 

Love to all, 


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