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Before I move on to the difficult discovery I mentioned in the last blog, and the real point of this entire blog series which “covers a multitude of sins” I’ve needed to repent from for a long, long time, I first want to cover this.
I decided it was best to lay it all down in this process, including the Common Ground project. This project is also driven by levels of the very things I need to repent from. Whether I have wanted to or not, I have been “dreaming” with God about Common Ground since 1993. It has relentlessly come to me again, and again, and again. I believed with every fiber in me that it was a true calling. And I believed in the messages and purposes of it. But I also have come to decide that death to that dream could only be a healthy and beneficial thing in this process, and I have felt much relief in laying it down.
I also closed a department of my business that deals with sharing a system I’ve developed that includes inner healing tools I’ve learned over the years. We take other songwriters and artists through this system, and it is a powerful and beautiful process that frees songwriters and artists from things that entangle them and hold them back. But, there are times when the “teacher” needs to be humbled, and become the student again. So, that is what I’ve decided to do.
I am currently focusing on serving other artists through my business along with a great team, in whatever way I feel is healthy, safe, and effective. That has been such a joy, and it is actually the only thing I’ve ever really wanted to do. I only tend to my own musical abilities because I’ve always felt a responsibility to the “gift” God has given. I have believed that it was “given to give it away.” But, I also believe there’s healing in dying to a dream because it clears out selfish ambition, and many other unhealthy sin matters that tend to surface in a human who is attempting to properly steward a gift or calling. Bottom line, I cannot carry these particular parts of the gifts and callings if my love is not intact. I’m very thankful for this part of the process because…
IF I HAVE NOT LEARNED TO LOVE, I AM NOTHING. 1 Corinthians 13:1-2
Over the next few months through a prewritten weekly blog series, I’m going to openly share my personal journey through this. The blog is prewritten so as not to be tempted to edit according to response. Some will scoff, some will disagree with my approach, and some will find deep healing and feel less alone. It is for the latter group that I write and share this blog series.
Love to all,
Jill